just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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