had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
