oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
