I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
