The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
