Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
