just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
