Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
