So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
