Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My liver just had a heart attack.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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