After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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