what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
