I'm gonna have a badass scar
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
