I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
