I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
