Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
