shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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