I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
