So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
