dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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