I think my vagina is haunted
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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