We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
