But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
