we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
