so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
