Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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