I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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