And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
