Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
