So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
