I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
