Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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