Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
