I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
