my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
