I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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