508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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