I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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