i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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