i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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