Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
