3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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