brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
