I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
