Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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