just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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