apparently the secret to your success is patron
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
