I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
