"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
And then my night got REAL pukey
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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