Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
This house was built for laser tag.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
