...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
