dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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